Done!

...with chemo at least.
   No Taxol #12 this week. The numbness has stayed about the same, but he kept asking if I was having pains in my fingers, as if that was going to determine whether or not I had the last treatment. Then again, for the last 6 weeks, he kept asking if I was still able to button buttons and tie shoelaces without problems (two completely avoidable tasks) as if THAT would determine whether to continue treatments. He did acknowledge the issues I've been having typing on my phone or a keyboard for the past few weeks (much more important!).
   Thankfully, he let me stop so I'm officially done with chemo! And I'm two weeks out from the last treatment, so I've been feeling much better. I even got on my exercise bike last night, since my legs were already sore (thanks to a combination of six months of not moving, some leftover Taxol side effects, and those flu-like symptoms associated with Herceptin). But after about 20 minutes, my feet went numb. So I'm really glad we didn't push those last two Taxols. Hopefully all this numbness and tingling will start to go away, along with these other crappy side effects. My skin's started cracking and peeling because it's so dry. I'm still waiting for my constantly runny/bloody nose to get better. The hair on my head's definitely grown out at least an inch, but it's mostly on the top and in the back. My forehead looks huge now because most of the hair in the front has thinned or fallen out. I still haven't shaved my armpits or my legs in weeks, which is nice and all, but my eyebrows are disappearing too, so I could use some hair growth. My chest pain mostly went away last week, but in the last few days, my shoulder starting hurting again, but this time on the left side. I've been popping ibuprofen and that seems to help.
   The nurses printed off a copy of my blood counts (since I actually remembered this time), and they're slowly going back up. My hemoglobin was 9.7 and platelets went up to 127 (almost normal). But then I noticed the "Gender" on the printout says "Male". I know I don't have as many female hormones running through my body anymore and I'm about to get my boobs cut off, but seriously? They fixed it right away, but I wonder how long it's been like that and if it's affected anything...
   I also called Dr. K's office last week to reschedule my surgery. It's now for Tuesday, March 20, and I have a pre-op appointment in two weeks for any last-minute questions. I really don't think it'll be that bad, since they aren't ripping out any lymph nodes this time, and especially in comparison to six months of chemo hell (most of which is a blur thankfully). I'm just ready to be done with all this.
   I'm still getting the Herceptin, but now it's every three weeks, so my next appointment isn't for a while. My next MUGA heart scan is scheduled for February 6th. Speaking of never-ending appointments, we had to reschedule the one for the dogs, but Zeus hasn't been chewing on his feet lately, and instead has been getting into the trash and tearing everything up to occupy himself. Guess that's a trade-off?
   And Skye's still fat.

Five Weeks Left of Chemo

   Taxol #6 was last week. For some reason, my fingers suddenly stopped feeling all tingly, and the numbness seemed to have leveled off, so I might end up doing all/most of the Taxol treatments after all. My platelets were pretty low last week though, around 60, so Dr. C was a little worried about that.
   I met with the breast surgeon for a pre-op appointment last Wednesday. All she wanted me to do was sign a paper basically. She went over all my options again. I told her the plastic surgeon said I couldn't get an implant on the right side since I'll be doing radiation, but she says that's not true. Okay? ...But the plastic surgeon she referred me to, who shares her office, refuses to do it. She also said that moving the fat alone from my stomach into boobs wouldn't work because you need the blood supply provided by a muscle. Otherwise you just have "dead fat" hanging there. Good mental image. Either way, I told her I don't like the ideas of sacrificing muscles for boobs, having foreign objects in my chest for the rest of my life, or, more importantly, extra and unnecessary surgeries at this point. She pointed out that having a mastectomy on the left side could be considered "unnecessary". Except let's remember that my breast tissue is potentially deadly and leaving any of it attached to my body does not seem like a good idea. And that's really the best argument she could come up with to try to convince me to get immediate reconstruction? I can personally live with my decision (and will probably live longer because of it), it's the rest of the society that seems to have a problem with me going boobless. As of now, my surgery's scheduled for April 10th if everything goes according to plan (ha).
   I had Taxol #7 yesterday. My platelets and hemoglobin are looking better. Dr. C said he can't even feel the tumor at this point, just some "thickening" from the biopsy. He asked if the breast surgeon examined me and was surprised she didn't. So I took the opportunity to ask him if my ribs would be sticking out once my boobs are gone. Apparently they won't because they leave the muscle intact in today's modified radical mastectomy. Good to know. Kind of wish the surgeon had gone over some of this, except I was at a blank when she asked if I had any questions.
   My mom came up to visit last week and cleaned the house for us (thanks Mommy!), even though she might have been trying to kill the dogs by using toxic chemicals to scrub the floors. I almost killed them myself earlier when they escaped out the front door, which was the fault of the HVAC guys who just stood there like idiots with the door wide open as the dogs took off. Luckily Kyle came home for lunch right as Zeus was taking a dump in the neighbor's yard and snatched him up mid-poop. When the guys were leaving, I asked what we could do to make the downstairs warmer, and they gave me another stupid look and asked if I'd gotten a letter from housing saying when the maintenance guys were coming. I thought THEY were the maintenance guys! I have no clue who these men were that I let into my house and the real maintenance people never even showed up. And I'm pretty sure the heat's broken now because the house is freezing.
   Very frustrating day. And to top it off, the numbness/tingling in my fingers seems to be coming back, making it painful and irritating to do schoolwork. And the new hair that's been growing on my head since I finished the Cytoxan is starting to fall out. It's about an inch long all over, so this is pretty depressing. I should've seen this coming though since my eyebrows are still pretty sparse and I mysteriously haven't needed to shave my armpits for weeks. Thankfully only five more weeks of chemo.

Finally, an Update!

** Sorry about not updating the blog! The past month's been kind of crazy. I made this post into sections for an easier read, because it is VERY long. If you can actually make it to the end, props to you!

SC Visit
   That weekend after the second Cytoxan treatment, Kyle and I went down to SC for nine days to visit family and friends, and pick up the rest of my crap (how do I have so much stuff in another state??). We drove down to Charleston Saturday for my early birthday party, which was a lot of fun and thanks to everyone who made it. It was so nice to see all my friends again.
   I checked out Monday morning, and ran some errands in Charleston. I went to the local bank to get a new card with my current name on it, and while I was making transfers, the teller checked my ID, and said either I got my hair cut really short, or I've managed to hide it all under my hat. Lucky for her, she seemed nice, so instead of slapping her, I laughed and told her "I wish". And then she went on to tell me that she "sees a lot of stuff at the bank, and if anything happened" to me, my husband might not have immediate access to my money, or the state could even end up getting it, since he's not listed on my account. Wow. While that's good information to know and I do appreciate her letting me know, I don't know how I feel about a bank teller assuming I'm gonna drop dead tomorrow, leaving my husband without any money. Regardless, we promptly added Kyle's name to my account.
   I went back to Myrtle Beach for the week and left Kyle with his friend in Charleston. You know, the one who's the reason we postponed having a real wedding because he's deploying for a year in December. It was a much-needed break for the two of us though, since we're together basically all the time.
   I also got to hang out with my beautiful (original) puppy, even though my friend prefers the term "sewer rat" to describe his unique appearance. I took him to get his shots and got him groomed/trimmed, which I knew Ron would not like. It's just hair, it grows back (unless you're on chemo)! Check out his new look:

Man, I miss that little guy... My mother's house, on the other hand, has more animals than should be legal. It's like a zoo over there now that my sister (and her dog and her cat and her turtle) moved in.
   I also visited my temporarily-disabled friend who was home for a while due to an embarrassing story that I'll wait til the holidays to share. And I finally met my other friend's cousin's five-month-old twin babies who I've been stalking on Facebook. She uploads tons of pictures, but even the cutest ones don't come close to how cute they are in person! Unfortunately, she knew beforehand my plot to steal one of them (she has TWO), so she kept a careful eye on me. But I got to hold them and feed the boy. (Don't mind that I look like death in the picture below, the babies didn't seem to care).

It's amazing to see something so perfect in such a tiny package, and now I want one. I don't know how I'm going to get one yet, but I have time to figure it out. Until then, my "babies" are two stinky 90-pound balls of jet black hair.

Dogs
   We went back home the next Saturday. Kyle's friend had been dog-sitting our dogs, and I was worried about the state of our house. We came home to this:

Zeus also took the liberty to destroy every possible piece of cardboard in the living room. And he ate some decorative/organizational baskets I bought at the thrift store (I'm bummed). And he developed an annoying habit of sneaking up on the couch, when he knows he's not allowed on the furniture (I also found him standing on our bed the other day, rubbing his slobbery face all over Kyle's pillow, gross):

But besides that, the house was surprisingly clean! It had even been vacuumed and all the poop was picked up! 

Cytoxan #3

   I didn't have much time to enjoy the clean house because I was leaving for Portland that Tuesday. I went Monday, Nov. 7th to get the third round of Cytoxan. My counts were decent (I don't remember the specifics), so they hooked me up. I managed to stay awake during the second Cytoxan, but that third one knocked me out for some reason. On the way home, I was fighting to stay awake and alert and ended up getting stuck in some strange funeral procession on the main two-lane road going back to my house. Except none of the following cars had any identifying markings. So when five cars ran a red light to get into my lane and then proceeded to drive about 30 mph in a 50, I was not pleased. Especially since I was so drugged up from the chemo and just wanted to sleep. 

Portland/GHC Trip

   I got my Neulasta shot Tuesday, ran a bunch of errands, and Kyle drove me to the airport. I was very surprised with the Newark airport, which seems massive, and yet I was only in the security line for less than 10 minutes. I didn't even see any naked-imaging radiation scanners or any violating patdowns by the TSA agents. And when I asked the agent if I needed to take off my hat, she just gave me a look of pity, and let me go through the xray. Sweet! And then I sat for 6 hours on a direct flight to Portland, watching more episodes of Friends than I care to admit. 

   Portland was pretty cool. They have a great public transportation system! Or at least I thought so considering the places I've lived. The MAX rail took me right to my hotel from the airport, and the convention center for the conference was across the street. I roomed with another CS major from my school who I've known since freshman year and who encouraged me to apply for the scholarship in the first place (thanks Brittany!). 

   I didn't go to as many of the sessions as I should have, and I forgot to bring copies of my resume for the career fair/booths they had set up, but I definitely enjoyed the food and the free swag and the experience of Portland itself. Now's just not a good time for me to be focusing on a future career or grad school. When I said I wasn't sure about grad school yet in a discussion group, some woman basically yelled at me saying I needed to make up my mind right away and go take the GRE. I just told her now's a bad time for me, and she turned to harass the other girls instead. I'm pretty sure grad school, or even a job, can wait. We're getting by just fine on Kyle's income and my refunded scholarship money for now. 

   The conference was kind of depressing in some senses, because I can't just pick up and move anywhere to start a career since I'm married now, and it made me realize how much I've had to put my life "on hold" because of cancer at my age. I was too tired and nauseous to hit up most of the sessions, but we made sure we visited downtown Portland Friday. The MAX rail is free all over the downtown area, so we hopped on. First stop was Chinatown, found some homeless camps set up in the area (wished we'd brought some of the free food from the conference!), found a mall a few blocks over (in the middle of downtown??), realized there was no sales tax on anything, got some fancy hot chocolate, had to buy some gloves (colder than I expected), literally got lost inside Powell's City of Books (it covers a full city block!), and then got soaked in the rain waiting for the MAX rail going back because it's Portland and that's what it does. Overall, we had a fun day, and ended it with the big, final celebration of the conference before hopping on an overnight flight back home. 

   The trip home was much less forgiving. At the PDX airport, I asked about my hat, and the agent asked if I was able to take it off? No, I've glued it to my head! I took it off, and then tried to joke with the other agent that I obviously wasn't hiding anything under there. They also had the radiation machines, so I'm convinced that a naked image of my bald self is now floating around the internet. Then when I was coming out of the bathroom stall before waiting at the gate for my flight, I ran into one of my professors who had also attended the conference and who also happened to be leaving Friday night. What were the chances of that... 

Continental Airlines Sucks

   I was exhausted by the time I landed at Newark, and had a codeshare part of my Continental trip through Amtrak because it was cheaper than stopping in Newark (how??) and would take me closer to home. I went to check in at the Amtrak kiosk. No information found? Amtrak agents weren't going to arrive until 9, and it was 6 in the morning and I was trying to catch an 8:27 train. So I called Amtrak, the guy said no big deal, call Continental, they can instantly send over the right info. So I called Continental, and oh geez. I ended up talking to THREE different agents and still had no luck. The first one insisted there was no 8:27 train to Philadelphia. I checked the times on the board, it said 8:28. I kept having to repeat to her that I was at the Newark Airport station, not Newark's Amtrak station. She said there was no 8:27 OR 8:28. Yet another guy had just come in, called Amtrak, had his reservation of 8:27 switched to an earlier train, which I wanted to do too. I told her to send me over to someone else, but still no luck. I didn't understand how Continental could be that stupid at booking flights and train tickets. Then FOUR other guys showed up, and they ALL had the same problem. We were both on the phone with Continental, yet they couldn't find any of the appropriate information. None of us were happy. 

   The agent finally told me I'd just have to buy a ticket myself out of pocket and call Continental later to get reimbursed for it. I was pissed. I'd ALREADY paid for my ticket, it was part of my flight! They even told me I couldn't get my money back for the whole trip because it was connected with this (nonexistent?) train trip. I stayed on the phone arguing with these idiots for a little while more, and the other guys let me know that the Amtrak tickets they were forced to buy cost $70 each. Wow. Instead I hopped on a NJTransit train to Trenton because it was only $17, and I only needed to go to Trenton anyway. The whole situation did not make me happy, especially being sleep-derived at 7 in the morning yelling at dumb people who can't even run a computer system. 

SC DMV Really Sucks

   I did make it home though. Except I had to pick up the Nissan from Kyle's work first. Tuesday morning when I was in Portland, I got a phone call from a NJ number around 3 AM. I answered it and it's some Sergeant. So of course my first thought is something terrible happened to Kyle, but then I was trying to figure out why Kyle was out at this hour, and then I finally remembered the three hour time difference and that Kyle was on his way to work. Well he got pulled over for "speeding", but when the cop ran his license, its status came back as suspended. Um, what? The cop ignored me and kept talking, saying I needed to come pick up my car and that Kyle needs to go down to this building and file these papers and blah blah blah. I was like "um, I'm in PORTLAND right now," which I had to repeat a few times! Kyle had even told him before he called me that I was in Oregon. But the cop just kept telling me I needed to come get my car. I tried to explain to him that his license was suspended TWO YEARS AGO, but that he paid the fine and retook all the tests, but this guy was obviously an asshole and wasn't going to cut him any slack. Kyle showed me where he was "caught" going 38 in a 25, and the distance makes it impossible. I know the Nissan's got a V6 engine and it's so easy to accidentally start speeding in it, but there's no way it could get up that fast in such a small space, and the cop wasn't even close enough to see the area properly. He also didn't seem to realize that Kyle's building is right around the corner, so to me it sounds like he'd gotten some other car and went after Kyle instead. Go figure. 

   Kyle called the SC DMV later and it turns out it's another case of dumb people not knowing how to run a computer system. Their records show that he came into the DMV three or four times after his suspension, but that's it. He paid the reinstatement fee in cash, so no receipts, and he retook both the written test and the road test, but they have no proof. Even if he had receipts, who would have saved them for TWO years?? So he's screwed as usual. This will probably take months to get fixed, and he has to do some paperwork to get a NJ license and surrender his SC license, and then he has to do more paperwork stuff because it happened on the base. For now, I get to play chauffeur and drive Kyle back and forth to work every day, 7 AM and 7 PM. We're going to the DMV tomorrow to hopefully get the process started. 

   Funny things about this whole situation: We also got pulled over on the way to SC in some dinky little town where the speed limit had suddenly dropped to 25 and we didn't notice, but the cop was super nice and didn't bother with a ticket AND I told Kyle to go get his license renewed while we were in SC since it expires next month, but he forgot. If either of those situations had been different, we could've gotten this problem fixed way more easily. But no, the universe likes to screw us over. How to make this all a little better? Try to convince my mom to go have a "poop accident" in the DMV lobby. 

Classes Update

   On to more a more positive note: I have successfully wrangled some more professors into offering me remote versions of their courses for next semester. I don't know why it took me this long to figure out, but instead of paying 400$ to take the final history class I need from the local college, I can just take 9 credit hours at CofC and get back another whopping scholarship reimbursement. I'm eligible for my full-time disability status for a few more semesters, so I might as well take advantage of the situation. I'm taking history and two 100-level Computer Science electives, which should make for a much easier courseload than the torture I put myself through this semester. Plus, with the amount of money I'll be getting back into my pocket, anyone would be able to see the justification. 

   Only a week left of this semester!

Cytoxan #4

   The Cytoxan alone has not been nearly as bad as the Adriamycin, which is one of the reasons I'm feeling up to taking another semester of classes. I got the final round of it yesterday morning (Monday), and get hopefully my last Neulasta shot tomorrow. I also have an appointment with the genetics counselor, who called me while I out shopping at the mall in SC to let me know my genetic test results. Thankfully they were good! I tested negative for the rest of the p53 stuff, so still no genetic mutations have been found. I'm meeting with her today to just wrap things up. She has no suggestions for any further testing, but wants to make sure my family members will be getting the proper screenings just in case. 

   I also have to get another heart MUGA test (I think) before I start the final part of chemo: 12 weeks of Taxol and the Herceptin (not chemo). Apparently the Herceptin can weaken the heart muscle (like the Adriamycin), so my heart has to be checked again beforehand. My blood counts were decent again today, my hemoglobin was up to 10ish and my platelets were 101. I'll start getting hit with the nausea and muscle aches Wednesday and Thursday, just in time for Thanksgiving! 

Tricare Sucks (but only sometimes)

   I got a new anti-nausea medicine before we left for SC. Hopefully it should help for the Thanksgiving feast. It took days for the prescription itself to go through because of, again, dumb people not knowing how to run a computer system. They said my name wasn't in their system, when CVS is nationwide and I used to go all the time in Charleston, where I updated my name and insurance info right after I got married. When we went to pick the prescription up, they tried to say I had two insurances, and that it couldn't be processed. My stepdad called the day after I got married to let his insurance company know to drop me, and I have never even mentioned my old insurance to Tricare. And I've picked up prescriptions up here before without a problem, so I didn't understand why it suddenly had problems. 

   So I called Tricare, but they had no record of a second insurance company, and told me to call a different number for the pharmacy program. I called the pharmacy program, and they just had to run something through saying I only have Tricare. These calls somehow took about an hour altogether and I just wanted to throw up all over CVS's floor the whole time. Apparently CVS had been double billing BOTH insurance companies (for the past seven months??). I've never had any problems anywhere else thankfully, and shouldn't have any future problems now. I'm so thankful Kyle's health insurance covers everything, but wow it can be a pain in the butt to navigate sometimes. 

Hospital's Parking Lot Sucks (most of the time)

   Before my last trip to the hospital, they added gates to their parking lot. It's always overcrowded and if you don't come before 9 AM, you probably won't get a spot. So to fix this, you need a token from the front desk to get through the exit gate. The last time I was there, I asked if this was supposed to help with the parking situation, and they said the staff sometimes park there when they're not supposed to, so this should stop them. That's pretty inconsiderate of the staff to take the closer parking spots meant for sick patients. 

   I really don't enjoy the fact that this hospital makes me interact with the front desk people not just once, but twice now, once when I enter, and once when I leave. You have to tell them why you're there and pick up a slip of paper with "Visitor's Pass" on it. I usually want to hit the receptionist when I tell her "Oncology" and she asks if I know where to go. I'm BALD. Who do you think made me bald?? The very fact that I'm bald should be a dead giveaway that I'm going to the cancer ward. Then again, since it's colder now, I don't look nearly as silly wearing a fleece hat as I did in the summer. But still, it's just annoying having to deal with these people sometimes and I'm going to be doing it a lot more on the Taxol.

   So anyway, now when you leave, you have to return your Visitor's Pass, which at this point has been shoved in a bag and crumpled up, and ask for a token. So today, I got my token and went to leave. Another building shares the parking lot, and I noticed a white car parked out front in their dropoff section with an old lady in it. The exit gate is right next to it, and is stupidly wide enough for two cars. I put my token in the machine and the gate goes up, and I drive forward, and out of nowhere the white car WHIZZES past me through the open gate, not even stopping for the stop sign outside of it! I'm in disbelief and still moving forward, until I realize OH CRAP the gate's coming down because it sensed a car went through. Luckily I backed up in time, but I was pissed. I had to park in a fire lane, walk back across the street to the hospital, and get another stupid token. I explained it to the receptionists at the desk, who I was sure would recognize I was just in there, and they passed over another token right away, but you could tell they were in disbelief too. Next time I go in, I think I'm going to suggest they add a barrier to the exit gate to prevent two cars from fitting, because that was crazy. 

I Have Hair Again! (sort of...)

   I finally got my reimbursement check for my wig though. They didn't include the tax, but I'm too tired at this point to fight for $18. I don't even wear the stupid thing. But, I might not even need hats pretty soon! My hair started growing back in about two weeks ago, with this crazy platinum blond and brown color combination and peach fuzz texture. It's getting darker and closer to normal now. Dr. C said that sometimes happens, but that the Taxol may or may not wipe it out again. So we'll just have to wait and see. But it's kind of exciting not being that creepy "chemo bald" anymore. It's a shame about the armpits though. Had to break down and shave them last night. I still can't feel the right one, which sucks. But I will gladly shave my armpits everyday if it means having some decent hair on my head!

   When we visited in SC, my eyebrows were still mostly gone (accidentally rubbed off the penciled-in ones the night of my party, oops). I pointed out the patches to my mom, who got sad and said I had had beautiful eyebrows ("you mean 'eyeBROW'"), and related them to "Brooke Shields eyebrows". Ouch... I definitely don't take that as a compliment! But I will also gladly pluck those pesky hairs in the middle if it means having any eyebrows (and eyelashes) at all!

But No Sleep!

   This post was made possible by the fact that I have been completely wired for the past five days. I literally haven't gotten a proper's night sleep in about a week, and before this I was sleeping at least 10-12 hours every night. I think I was up for over 36 hours straight the other day with only a 2 hour nap. Most nights I've only gotten 3 or 4 straight hours of sleep since I have to get up to take the husband to work. I've gotten so much homework done though, which is definitely needed since it's almost the end of the semester. But I haven't really felt "tired". I should've mentioned this to my doctor, but I figure this week's chemo will have me back on my old schedule in no time. But man have I been productive! The "chemo brain" seems to be easing up and I'm so thankful to be able to think clearly again!

Guess what??

   This incredibly long post is finally over and you can go back to much more important things in your life now! Thanks for hanging in there!

Still No Mutations

   The genetics counselor called me this morning to tell me the results of the P53 genetic test they did: No mutations found! Which is good, but she's going to see if there are any other tests we can do. It'd be nice to have an answer, just not a bad one.
   I also got a scary bill from the doctor's office today. From August 8th (two months to process?). I called up Tricare and the woman was so nice, she checked all the other claims to make sure they went through properly and even looked into my wig reimbursement. Apparently they denied the claim for a lot of reasons, but someone over there messed up in the filing process. And the receipt I sent had gotten folded over when they imaged it, so it said $45 instead of $450! She told me everything I needed to do to make sure it's taken care of, and now I need to resend everything. She even informed me of how many referral visits I have for oncology and transferred me to the Referral people to see if I could get more. Unfortunately, that's when my phone decided to cut out. So I called Tmobile after that. They can only offer me two new phones for my warranty exchange now since my current one is almost a year old, so I'm going to research my options. It's really frustrating trying to make all these important phone calls when I don't get service inside the house and the wifi-calling on my phone is messed up.
   It's technically my Fall Break until Wednesday. My midterm grades were pretty good considering I haven't been to a single class and how chemo makes my brain feel fuzzy. I'll either be getting chemo this Monday or next Monday depending on how my counts are doing and/or if I can talk the doctor into working around my vacation schedule. We're leaving Friday, October 29th to go to Myrtle Beach/Charleston, and won't be back until November 5th or 6th. But then I'm supposed to leave November 8th for Grace Hopper, so we might have to work chemo into Monday, Nov. 7th instead. I might not be going anywhere if I don't hear back from the physical therapist first. My hand's still swollen and hurts and doing things like folding clothes or scrubbing the bathtub does NOT help at all. Hopefully they can get me in for an appointment as soon as possible.
    My cousin Lindsey's coming up for the weekend and is going to help me landscape our "back yard" for the dogs. It's all dirt and dead plants and poop right now so it definitely needs some work. I also went ahead and ordered the FURminator after seeing some pictures and videos of the magic it can do. It should be arriving very soon. I'm so tired of eating dog hair with every meal.

Chemo Delayed Again

   As much as I didn't want to get chemo today, I'd rather have just gotten it over with. But my counts were too low again, so I should be getting the last Adriamycin round next Monday instead. They drew the extra bloodwork to send off for the genetic testing. I saw the genetics counselor last Tuesday, and she explained what the results of the P53 gene testing will mean. It's called Li-Fraunemi Syndrome, which basically means the tumor suppressor gene in the body's cells doesn't work right, and that I'd be more prone to multiple cancers in my lifetime. So if I have it, no radiation and more annual screenings hoping to catch stuff early. However, it wouldn't explain Aplastic Anemia. I asked her what happens if this test comes back negative, and she said then they've just hit a wall with what to look for and they'd stop testing me altogether. But we got all the bloodwork and paperwork together and sent it off today, so we'll get those results back in four weeks.
   Two different nurses took my blood pressure today because it was so low (88/60), but Dr. C said he wasn't concerned considering how small I am. I also lost a few pounds, but it's kind of hard to eat much when everything tastes so bad. I asked him about the black line on my nail and he said that's from chemo. He did a physical exam to check the tumor, but it's basically gone now. Which is good, the chemo's working (can I stop now?). I told him how nauseous I was last week, and he said if it happens again to come in and they can shoot something into my port to help.
   I got a copy of my blood counts since he told me they were low, and my hemoglobin was 8.1 and my platelets were only 66, which explains the bruises on my feet from the dogs stepping on them. I just hope my counts come back up at all considering my past medical problems...
   My new chemo schedule might interfere with our travel plans, but hopefully they can do a Friday chemo or something instead of a Monday if needed. But Dr. C OKed air travel, so I get to go to Portland November 9-12 for the Grace Hopper Celebration of Women in Computing. I applied for a scholarship back in April and found out in August that I didn't qualify, but was on a waiting list instead. Someone from the Anita Borg Institute called me last week to ask me if I was going since I hadn't registered yet and the deadline was that night. Turns out I did get the scholarship, but not the second email informing me that I'd gotten the scholarship. But I'm registered now and just need to buy the plane tickets (to be reimbursed later). It's nice having something to look forward to that isn't cancer-related.

A Post About Crap (Literally)

   The nausea's starting to kick in. My appointment was only about two hours this morning since it's only the first part of the chemo. My platelets were 100, which is still pretty low. I only have one more round of the Adriamycin, but the other two parts should be easier on my blood counts (and hopefully the rest of me too). Dr. C checked the tumor and says it feels smaller and flatter and less defined. I asked him about my constantly running nose and he said that's from the chemo. That's the only new side effect I've been noticing, except for the rest of my stubble falling out.
   I stopped by Walgreens after the hospital and found some SeaBands, which are dorky-looking wristbands that use pressure at special points on your wrists to help alleviate nausea. I'm desperate to avoid another week straight of feeling sick, so hopefully they'll work. I also stopped at McDonalds on the way home (bad idea, I know) and got a sweet tea. I could feel the taste get progressively worse over the 20-minute drive home. Water's back to its crappy taste too.
   Another thing going to crap is my brain. I feel like I'm forgetting things all the time and it's SO hard to concentrate, especially when it tastes like there's a dirty sock in my mouth and my stomach hurts and I just want to sleep, sleep, sleep, and then sleep some more. I'll go out to the store and then forget what I came for, and of course I'll have left the list at home. I have a test in one class tomorrow, I just hope I can remember enough to pass it.
   It's way easier to just clean and play with the dogs than to sit down and study or do homework. I got a nice little patio set for the backyard for $32, so the dogs and I can hang out outside (with the mosquitoes). And I bought a really cool pooper scooper, Our Pets Skoop-N-Pak, because there is NO way I'm picking up warm, squishy dog poop when I'm already this nauseous.

   Some pictures of our babies can be found on this Facebook album.