Boring Update...

   Not much has been going on with this chemo. I go Tuesday or Wednesday each week and hang out for 4 or 5 hours getting the Taxol and then the Herceptin. They only give me a pill of Benadryl, so it's not as bad as the IV version, but I still end up taking a nap while I'm there.
   Four down, eight to go. And then surgery. And then radiation. And Herceptin for another nine months. And Tamoxifen for five years. Fun fun.
   For now, I've just been lounging around since I'm on winter break for school. Classes start again next Monday, but they should be more "fun" this semester. Of course anything's more fun than trying to finish my last few major classes while going through the worst part of chemo (got all As by the way, but I'm pretty sure the professors felt sorry for me, and didn't want to go to hell for giving the cancer student bad grades). My head has definitely cleared up on this chemo, so I can actually multitask again. I only get nauseous for about a day now, but it's not nearly as bad as before, more of a general "bleh" feeling. They don't normally tell me my blood counts unless I ask, but they've been high enough to give me chemo. I have been pretty tired, but it's manageable. My biggest problem right now is that my nose keeps getting clogged up with some bloody clots (ew gross I know) and my fingers and toes are definitely starting to go numb from the Taxol.
   As least my hair's growing back in (for now).

Finally, an Update!

** Sorry about not updating the blog! The past month's been kind of crazy. I made this post into sections for an easier read, because it is VERY long. If you can actually make it to the end, props to you!

SC Visit
   That weekend after the second Cytoxan treatment, Kyle and I went down to SC for nine days to visit family and friends, and pick up the rest of my crap (how do I have so much stuff in another state??). We drove down to Charleston Saturday for my early birthday party, which was a lot of fun and thanks to everyone who made it. It was so nice to see all my friends again.
   I checked out Monday morning, and ran some errands in Charleston. I went to the local bank to get a new card with my current name on it, and while I was making transfers, the teller checked my ID, and said either I got my hair cut really short, or I've managed to hide it all under my hat. Lucky for her, she seemed nice, so instead of slapping her, I laughed and told her "I wish". And then she went on to tell me that she "sees a lot of stuff at the bank, and if anything happened" to me, my husband might not have immediate access to my money, or the state could even end up getting it, since he's not listed on my account. Wow. While that's good information to know and I do appreciate her letting me know, I don't know how I feel about a bank teller assuming I'm gonna drop dead tomorrow, leaving my husband without any money. Regardless, we promptly added Kyle's name to my account.
   I went back to Myrtle Beach for the week and left Kyle with his friend in Charleston. You know, the one who's the reason we postponed having a real wedding because he's deploying for a year in December. It was a much-needed break for the two of us though, since we're together basically all the time.
   I also got to hang out with my beautiful (original) puppy, even though my friend prefers the term "sewer rat" to describe his unique appearance. I took him to get his shots and got him groomed/trimmed, which I knew Ron would not like. It's just hair, it grows back (unless you're on chemo)! Check out his new look:

Man, I miss that little guy... My mother's house, on the other hand, has more animals than should be legal. It's like a zoo over there now that my sister (and her dog and her cat and her turtle) moved in.
   I also visited my temporarily-disabled friend who was home for a while due to an embarrassing story that I'll wait til the holidays to share. And I finally met my other friend's cousin's five-month-old twin babies who I've been stalking on Facebook. She uploads tons of pictures, but even the cutest ones don't come close to how cute they are in person! Unfortunately, she knew beforehand my plot to steal one of them (she has TWO), so she kept a careful eye on me. But I got to hold them and feed the boy. (Don't mind that I look like death in the picture below, the babies didn't seem to care).

It's amazing to see something so perfect in such a tiny package, and now I want one. I don't know how I'm going to get one yet, but I have time to figure it out. Until then, my "babies" are two stinky 90-pound balls of jet black hair.

Dogs
   We went back home the next Saturday. Kyle's friend had been dog-sitting our dogs, and I was worried about the state of our house. We came home to this:

Zeus also took the liberty to destroy every possible piece of cardboard in the living room. And he ate some decorative/organizational baskets I bought at the thrift store (I'm bummed). And he developed an annoying habit of sneaking up on the couch, when he knows he's not allowed on the furniture (I also found him standing on our bed the other day, rubbing his slobbery face all over Kyle's pillow, gross):

But besides that, the house was surprisingly clean! It had even been vacuumed and all the poop was picked up! 

Cytoxan #3

   I didn't have much time to enjoy the clean house because I was leaving for Portland that Tuesday. I went Monday, Nov. 7th to get the third round of Cytoxan. My counts were decent (I don't remember the specifics), so they hooked me up. I managed to stay awake during the second Cytoxan, but that third one knocked me out for some reason. On the way home, I was fighting to stay awake and alert and ended up getting stuck in some strange funeral procession on the main two-lane road going back to my house. Except none of the following cars had any identifying markings. So when five cars ran a red light to get into my lane and then proceeded to drive about 30 mph in a 50, I was not pleased. Especially since I was so drugged up from the chemo and just wanted to sleep. 

Portland/GHC Trip

   I got my Neulasta shot Tuesday, ran a bunch of errands, and Kyle drove me to the airport. I was very surprised with the Newark airport, which seems massive, and yet I was only in the security line for less than 10 minutes. I didn't even see any naked-imaging radiation scanners or any violating patdowns by the TSA agents. And when I asked the agent if I needed to take off my hat, she just gave me a look of pity, and let me go through the xray. Sweet! And then I sat for 6 hours on a direct flight to Portland, watching more episodes of Friends than I care to admit. 

   Portland was pretty cool. They have a great public transportation system! Or at least I thought so considering the places I've lived. The MAX rail took me right to my hotel from the airport, and the convention center for the conference was across the street. I roomed with another CS major from my school who I've known since freshman year and who encouraged me to apply for the scholarship in the first place (thanks Brittany!). 

   I didn't go to as many of the sessions as I should have, and I forgot to bring copies of my resume for the career fair/booths they had set up, but I definitely enjoyed the food and the free swag and the experience of Portland itself. Now's just not a good time for me to be focusing on a future career or grad school. When I said I wasn't sure about grad school yet in a discussion group, some woman basically yelled at me saying I needed to make up my mind right away and go take the GRE. I just told her now's a bad time for me, and she turned to harass the other girls instead. I'm pretty sure grad school, or even a job, can wait. We're getting by just fine on Kyle's income and my refunded scholarship money for now. 

   The conference was kind of depressing in some senses, because I can't just pick up and move anywhere to start a career since I'm married now, and it made me realize how much I've had to put my life "on hold" because of cancer at my age. I was too tired and nauseous to hit up most of the sessions, but we made sure we visited downtown Portland Friday. The MAX rail is free all over the downtown area, so we hopped on. First stop was Chinatown, found some homeless camps set up in the area (wished we'd brought some of the free food from the conference!), found a mall a few blocks over (in the middle of downtown??), realized there was no sales tax on anything, got some fancy hot chocolate, had to buy some gloves (colder than I expected), literally got lost inside Powell's City of Books (it covers a full city block!), and then got soaked in the rain waiting for the MAX rail going back because it's Portland and that's what it does. Overall, we had a fun day, and ended it with the big, final celebration of the conference before hopping on an overnight flight back home. 

   The trip home was much less forgiving. At the PDX airport, I asked about my hat, and the agent asked if I was able to take it off? No, I've glued it to my head! I took it off, and then tried to joke with the other agent that I obviously wasn't hiding anything under there. They also had the radiation machines, so I'm convinced that a naked image of my bald self is now floating around the internet. Then when I was coming out of the bathroom stall before waiting at the gate for my flight, I ran into one of my professors who had also attended the conference and who also happened to be leaving Friday night. What were the chances of that... 

Continental Airlines Sucks

   I was exhausted by the time I landed at Newark, and had a codeshare part of my Continental trip through Amtrak because it was cheaper than stopping in Newark (how??) and would take me closer to home. I went to check in at the Amtrak kiosk. No information found? Amtrak agents weren't going to arrive until 9, and it was 6 in the morning and I was trying to catch an 8:27 train. So I called Amtrak, the guy said no big deal, call Continental, they can instantly send over the right info. So I called Continental, and oh geez. I ended up talking to THREE different agents and still had no luck. The first one insisted there was no 8:27 train to Philadelphia. I checked the times on the board, it said 8:28. I kept having to repeat to her that I was at the Newark Airport station, not Newark's Amtrak station. She said there was no 8:27 OR 8:28. Yet another guy had just come in, called Amtrak, had his reservation of 8:27 switched to an earlier train, which I wanted to do too. I told her to send me over to someone else, but still no luck. I didn't understand how Continental could be that stupid at booking flights and train tickets. Then FOUR other guys showed up, and they ALL had the same problem. We were both on the phone with Continental, yet they couldn't find any of the appropriate information. None of us were happy. 

   The agent finally told me I'd just have to buy a ticket myself out of pocket and call Continental later to get reimbursed for it. I was pissed. I'd ALREADY paid for my ticket, it was part of my flight! They even told me I couldn't get my money back for the whole trip because it was connected with this (nonexistent?) train trip. I stayed on the phone arguing with these idiots for a little while more, and the other guys let me know that the Amtrak tickets they were forced to buy cost $70 each. Wow. Instead I hopped on a NJTransit train to Trenton because it was only $17, and I only needed to go to Trenton anyway. The whole situation did not make me happy, especially being sleep-derived at 7 in the morning yelling at dumb people who can't even run a computer system. 

SC DMV Really Sucks

   I did make it home though. Except I had to pick up the Nissan from Kyle's work first. Tuesday morning when I was in Portland, I got a phone call from a NJ number around 3 AM. I answered it and it's some Sergeant. So of course my first thought is something terrible happened to Kyle, but then I was trying to figure out why Kyle was out at this hour, and then I finally remembered the three hour time difference and that Kyle was on his way to work. Well he got pulled over for "speeding", but when the cop ran his license, its status came back as suspended. Um, what? The cop ignored me and kept talking, saying I needed to come pick up my car and that Kyle needs to go down to this building and file these papers and blah blah blah. I was like "um, I'm in PORTLAND right now," which I had to repeat a few times! Kyle had even told him before he called me that I was in Oregon. But the cop just kept telling me I needed to come get my car. I tried to explain to him that his license was suspended TWO YEARS AGO, but that he paid the fine and retook all the tests, but this guy was obviously an asshole and wasn't going to cut him any slack. Kyle showed me where he was "caught" going 38 in a 25, and the distance makes it impossible. I know the Nissan's got a V6 engine and it's so easy to accidentally start speeding in it, but there's no way it could get up that fast in such a small space, and the cop wasn't even close enough to see the area properly. He also didn't seem to realize that Kyle's building is right around the corner, so to me it sounds like he'd gotten some other car and went after Kyle instead. Go figure. 

   Kyle called the SC DMV later and it turns out it's another case of dumb people not knowing how to run a computer system. Their records show that he came into the DMV three or four times after his suspension, but that's it. He paid the reinstatement fee in cash, so no receipts, and he retook both the written test and the road test, but they have no proof. Even if he had receipts, who would have saved them for TWO years?? So he's screwed as usual. This will probably take months to get fixed, and he has to do some paperwork to get a NJ license and surrender his SC license, and then he has to do more paperwork stuff because it happened on the base. For now, I get to play chauffeur and drive Kyle back and forth to work every day, 7 AM and 7 PM. We're going to the DMV tomorrow to hopefully get the process started. 

   Funny things about this whole situation: We also got pulled over on the way to SC in some dinky little town where the speed limit had suddenly dropped to 25 and we didn't notice, but the cop was super nice and didn't bother with a ticket AND I told Kyle to go get his license renewed while we were in SC since it expires next month, but he forgot. If either of those situations had been different, we could've gotten this problem fixed way more easily. But no, the universe likes to screw us over. How to make this all a little better? Try to convince my mom to go have a "poop accident" in the DMV lobby. 

Classes Update

   On to more a more positive note: I have successfully wrangled some more professors into offering me remote versions of their courses for next semester. I don't know why it took me this long to figure out, but instead of paying 400$ to take the final history class I need from the local college, I can just take 9 credit hours at CofC and get back another whopping scholarship reimbursement. I'm eligible for my full-time disability status for a few more semesters, so I might as well take advantage of the situation. I'm taking history and two 100-level Computer Science electives, which should make for a much easier courseload than the torture I put myself through this semester. Plus, with the amount of money I'll be getting back into my pocket, anyone would be able to see the justification. 

   Only a week left of this semester!

Cytoxan #4

   The Cytoxan alone has not been nearly as bad as the Adriamycin, which is one of the reasons I'm feeling up to taking another semester of classes. I got the final round of it yesterday morning (Monday), and get hopefully my last Neulasta shot tomorrow. I also have an appointment with the genetics counselor, who called me while I out shopping at the mall in SC to let me know my genetic test results. Thankfully they were good! I tested negative for the rest of the p53 stuff, so still no genetic mutations have been found. I'm meeting with her today to just wrap things up. She has no suggestions for any further testing, but wants to make sure my family members will be getting the proper screenings just in case. 

   I also have to get another heart MUGA test (I think) before I start the final part of chemo: 12 weeks of Taxol and the Herceptin (not chemo). Apparently the Herceptin can weaken the heart muscle (like the Adriamycin), so my heart has to be checked again beforehand. My blood counts were decent again today, my hemoglobin was up to 10ish and my platelets were 101. I'll start getting hit with the nausea and muscle aches Wednesday and Thursday, just in time for Thanksgiving! 

Tricare Sucks (but only sometimes)

   I got a new anti-nausea medicine before we left for SC. Hopefully it should help for the Thanksgiving feast. It took days for the prescription itself to go through because of, again, dumb people not knowing how to run a computer system. They said my name wasn't in their system, when CVS is nationwide and I used to go all the time in Charleston, where I updated my name and insurance info right after I got married. When we went to pick the prescription up, they tried to say I had two insurances, and that it couldn't be processed. My stepdad called the day after I got married to let his insurance company know to drop me, and I have never even mentioned my old insurance to Tricare. And I've picked up prescriptions up here before without a problem, so I didn't understand why it suddenly had problems. 

   So I called Tricare, but they had no record of a second insurance company, and told me to call a different number for the pharmacy program. I called the pharmacy program, and they just had to run something through saying I only have Tricare. These calls somehow took about an hour altogether and I just wanted to throw up all over CVS's floor the whole time. Apparently CVS had been double billing BOTH insurance companies (for the past seven months??). I've never had any problems anywhere else thankfully, and shouldn't have any future problems now. I'm so thankful Kyle's health insurance covers everything, but wow it can be a pain in the butt to navigate sometimes. 

Hospital's Parking Lot Sucks (most of the time)

   Before my last trip to the hospital, they added gates to their parking lot. It's always overcrowded and if you don't come before 9 AM, you probably won't get a spot. So to fix this, you need a token from the front desk to get through the exit gate. The last time I was there, I asked if this was supposed to help with the parking situation, and they said the staff sometimes park there when they're not supposed to, so this should stop them. That's pretty inconsiderate of the staff to take the closer parking spots meant for sick patients. 

   I really don't enjoy the fact that this hospital makes me interact with the front desk people not just once, but twice now, once when I enter, and once when I leave. You have to tell them why you're there and pick up a slip of paper with "Visitor's Pass" on it. I usually want to hit the receptionist when I tell her "Oncology" and she asks if I know where to go. I'm BALD. Who do you think made me bald?? The very fact that I'm bald should be a dead giveaway that I'm going to the cancer ward. Then again, since it's colder now, I don't look nearly as silly wearing a fleece hat as I did in the summer. But still, it's just annoying having to deal with these people sometimes and I'm going to be doing it a lot more on the Taxol.

   So anyway, now when you leave, you have to return your Visitor's Pass, which at this point has been shoved in a bag and crumpled up, and ask for a token. So today, I got my token and went to leave. Another building shares the parking lot, and I noticed a white car parked out front in their dropoff section with an old lady in it. The exit gate is right next to it, and is stupidly wide enough for two cars. I put my token in the machine and the gate goes up, and I drive forward, and out of nowhere the white car WHIZZES past me through the open gate, not even stopping for the stop sign outside of it! I'm in disbelief and still moving forward, until I realize OH CRAP the gate's coming down because it sensed a car went through. Luckily I backed up in time, but I was pissed. I had to park in a fire lane, walk back across the street to the hospital, and get another stupid token. I explained it to the receptionists at the desk, who I was sure would recognize I was just in there, and they passed over another token right away, but you could tell they were in disbelief too. Next time I go in, I think I'm going to suggest they add a barrier to the exit gate to prevent two cars from fitting, because that was crazy. 

I Have Hair Again! (sort of...)

   I finally got my reimbursement check for my wig though. They didn't include the tax, but I'm too tired at this point to fight for $18. I don't even wear the stupid thing. But, I might not even need hats pretty soon! My hair started growing back in about two weeks ago, with this crazy platinum blond and brown color combination and peach fuzz texture. It's getting darker and closer to normal now. Dr. C said that sometimes happens, but that the Taxol may or may not wipe it out again. So we'll just have to wait and see. But it's kind of exciting not being that creepy "chemo bald" anymore. It's a shame about the armpits though. Had to break down and shave them last night. I still can't feel the right one, which sucks. But I will gladly shave my armpits everyday if it means having some decent hair on my head!

   When we visited in SC, my eyebrows were still mostly gone (accidentally rubbed off the penciled-in ones the night of my party, oops). I pointed out the patches to my mom, who got sad and said I had had beautiful eyebrows ("you mean 'eyeBROW'"), and related them to "Brooke Shields eyebrows". Ouch... I definitely don't take that as a compliment! But I will also gladly pluck those pesky hairs in the middle if it means having any eyebrows (and eyelashes) at all!

But No Sleep!

   This post was made possible by the fact that I have been completely wired for the past five days. I literally haven't gotten a proper's night sleep in about a week, and before this I was sleeping at least 10-12 hours every night. I think I was up for over 36 hours straight the other day with only a 2 hour nap. Most nights I've only gotten 3 or 4 straight hours of sleep since I have to get up to take the husband to work. I've gotten so much homework done though, which is definitely needed since it's almost the end of the semester. But I haven't really felt "tired". I should've mentioned this to my doctor, but I figure this week's chemo will have me back on my old schedule in no time. But man have I been productive! The "chemo brain" seems to be easing up and I'm so thankful to be able to think clearly again!

Guess what??

   This incredibly long post is finally over and you can go back to much more important things in your life now! Thanks for hanging in there!

Starting the Cytoxan (Again)

   Finally got some chemo yesterday, the second round of Cytoxan, but the first time with just it alone. I got there at 8:00 (Dr. C caught me in the elevator on his way up from the cafeteria), and didn't leave until 12:45. They even checked my blood counts before the other patients because they were worried I'd need a transfusion (and be there even longer...). My counts were decent though, my hemoglobin went up to 9, but my platelets were only 78. My blood pressure's still low (86/50), which means I get it taken twice by two different nurses every time.
   Getting the chemo itself was uneventful. I even managed to get some homework done. I started getting a slight headache near the end, which they had mentioned could happen if they infuse it too fast, but it went away pretty quickly. As soon as I left the hospital (and was mopping up the blood oozing out of their tiny bandaids, remind me to bring my own next time), I started feeling really nauseous and tired. I made it home and took a nap. Hopefully yesterday was the worst of it? I couldn't sleep at all last night either, and the FIVE times I got up to pee, I was really dizzy, which I'll let the nurses know today when I go for my shot. But I'm feeling better today, I just hope it doesn't get worse later in the week like with the Adriamycin.
   If there's anything else I'm supposed to update about, I definitely can't remember right now, thanks chemobrain!

Final Round of Adriamycin! Mmm... Back to Nausea...

    I saw the radiation oncologist again Friday to find out what she wants to do. She said she talked with 3 other radiation oncologists and they all agreed that I should get radiation, but Dr. B herself is still kind of hesitant. Here's a link to the study she was looking at trying to determine what'd be best in my case. She ran through a bunch of numbers and statistics that made me wish I hadn't slept through that statistics class freshmen year, but overall, she said considering my age and the SLIGHT improvement they've seen in patients with the small number of positive nodes and size of the tumor, that we should plan on going ahead with it. I told her they're testing me for the p53 gene and we'll get the results in 3 weeks, which might affect her decision. I'll meet with her again after chemo is over to figure out all the details.
    I finally got that last round of the Adriamycin yesterday. My hemoglobin went up to 9.4 and my platelets were 96. My blood pressure's still pretty low. Dr. C is out for the week, so I saw his assistant Phyllis again. I asked her about the pain in my right hand and arm, and she looked at it and noticed it's starting to swell. Yay for lymphedema. Here's a link for some info on it. She said she'd send me to a physical therapist specializing in lymphedema treatment "when [I'm] ready"? I guess she meant when I'm not getting my ass kicked so much by all this chemo. When I went back today for my Neulasta shot, I ran into her again and asked if I could get a referral sooner since I'm going to be flying across the country in a month. I'll need a compression sleeve before I go on that trip since it's such a long flight.
   I also asked her about possibly rescheduling one of my upcoming chemo sessions so I can go down to SC to visit friends and family October 28th through November 5th. She said to come in for my next appointment as usual and we'll see how my counts are doing. (Knowing me, they'll be low anyway.) And then plan on getting chemo November 7th regardless since I'm going out of town the week before and that week itself. Tight schedule... But it's good to know they'll try to work with me on it. I'll probably be miserable during my Portland trip thanks to chemo.
   Since I'd gone in so late in the day, I guess Phyllis had some free time to chat. She said the fatigue I'm experiencing so much lately probably isn't going to get much better since I'm going into month THREE of chemo and won't be done til FEBRUARY. I also told her I'm thinking about skipping reconstruction altogether or at least delaying it since I'm definitely going to be wiped out by the time I have my mastectomy surgery. She said that's probably a good idea since I'm going to have radiation, and that radiated skin doesn't heal as well as normal skin. So much fun stuff going on...
   On to ACTUAL fun stuff: my mom suggested a birthday party since I'm going to be home for my birthday. But most of my friends are still in Charleston, so we're going to try to have the party down there October 29th. I'm looking into renting a house or something and having my mom cook dinner. It'd be nice to have a post-chemo/pre-mastectomy party too in February or March. Lots of time left to plan for that one though.

Chemo Delayed Again

   As much as I didn't want to get chemo today, I'd rather have just gotten it over with. But my counts were too low again, so I should be getting the last Adriamycin round next Monday instead. They drew the extra bloodwork to send off for the genetic testing. I saw the genetics counselor last Tuesday, and she explained what the results of the P53 gene testing will mean. It's called Li-Fraunemi Syndrome, which basically means the tumor suppressor gene in the body's cells doesn't work right, and that I'd be more prone to multiple cancers in my lifetime. So if I have it, no radiation and more annual screenings hoping to catch stuff early. However, it wouldn't explain Aplastic Anemia. I asked her what happens if this test comes back negative, and she said then they've just hit a wall with what to look for and they'd stop testing me altogether. But we got all the bloodwork and paperwork together and sent it off today, so we'll get those results back in four weeks.
   Two different nurses took my blood pressure today because it was so low (88/60), but Dr. C said he wasn't concerned considering how small I am. I also lost a few pounds, but it's kind of hard to eat much when everything tastes so bad. I asked him about the black line on my nail and he said that's from chemo. He did a physical exam to check the tumor, but it's basically gone now. Which is good, the chemo's working (can I stop now?). I told him how nauseous I was last week, and he said if it happens again to come in and they can shoot something into my port to help.
   I got a copy of my blood counts since he told me they were low, and my hemoglobin was 8.1 and my platelets were only 66, which explains the bruises on my feet from the dogs stepping on them. I just hope my counts come back up at all considering my past medical problems...
   My new chemo schedule might interfere with our travel plans, but hopefully they can do a Friday chemo or something instead of a Monday if needed. But Dr. C OKed air travel, so I get to go to Portland November 9-12 for the Grace Hopper Celebration of Women in Computing. I applied for a scholarship back in April and found out in August that I didn't qualify, but was on a waiting list instead. Someone from the Anita Borg Institute called me last week to ask me if I was going since I hadn't registered yet and the deadline was that night. Turns out I did get the scholarship, but not the second email informing me that I'd gotten the scholarship. But I'm registered now and just need to buy the plane tickets (to be reimbursed later). It's nice having something to look forward to that isn't cancer-related.

A Post About Crap (Literally)

   The nausea's starting to kick in. My appointment was only about two hours this morning since it's only the first part of the chemo. My platelets were 100, which is still pretty low. I only have one more round of the Adriamycin, but the other two parts should be easier on my blood counts (and hopefully the rest of me too). Dr. C checked the tumor and says it feels smaller and flatter and less defined. I asked him about my constantly running nose and he said that's from the chemo. That's the only new side effect I've been noticing, except for the rest of my stubble falling out.
   I stopped by Walgreens after the hospital and found some SeaBands, which are dorky-looking wristbands that use pressure at special points on your wrists to help alleviate nausea. I'm desperate to avoid another week straight of feeling sick, so hopefully they'll work. I also stopped at McDonalds on the way home (bad idea, I know) and got a sweet tea. I could feel the taste get progressively worse over the 20-minute drive home. Water's back to its crappy taste too.
   Another thing going to crap is my brain. I feel like I'm forgetting things all the time and it's SO hard to concentrate, especially when it tastes like there's a dirty sock in my mouth and my stomach hurts and I just want to sleep, sleep, sleep, and then sleep some more. I'll go out to the store and then forget what I came for, and of course I'll have left the list at home. I have a test in one class tomorrow, I just hope I can remember enough to pass it.
   It's way easier to just clean and play with the dogs than to sit down and study or do homework. I got a nice little patio set for the backyard for $32, so the dogs and I can hang out outside (with the mosquitoes). And I bought a really cool pooper scooper, Our Pets Skoop-N-Pak, because there is NO way I'm picking up warm, squishy dog poop when I'm already this nauseous.

   Some pictures of our babies can be found on this Facebook album.

Change of Plans

   We went for round two of chemo today, but my platelets were only at 91. Dr. C said the one study shows that it's most effective to give the A/C chemo combination every 2 weeks, but that there were two other arms that it followed. One was just to do the combo every 3 weeks, though slightly less effective. And the other was to split the A and the C parts, and do them separately every 2 weeks, which is more effective than the three weeks schedule. So we're going to try that, since we kind of don't have many other options. I had my second round of (only) the Adriamycin today (along with anti-nausea meds and steroids). This'll just prolong my chemo, and estimated surgery date, but the side effects should decrease. I'm still starting to feel nauseous though, and my legs hurt, and I'm tired, and that really gross taste in my mouth is coming back. But other than that I'm fine. I'm going in tomorrow to get the single Neulasta shot instead of the 10 individual shots. And then we're going to hopefully do the 3rd round of the Adriamycin two weeks from now.
 
Updates from last week that I missed:

• We had an earthquake Tuesday. The house shook and scared the crap out of me, but there wasn't any serious damage.
• Hurricane Irene hit Saturday night/Sunday morning. The power went out around 2 AM and didn't come back on until today around 2 PM. It was terrible.
• The in-laws are visiting in two weeks and bringing Kyle's super fat dogs. 
• I had a post-surgery follow-up with Dr. K Thursday. Everything looks fine, and I made appointments with radiation oncology to see if I need radiation after chemo and with their new in-house plastic surgeon, Dr. P, to find out about getting new boobs later. 
• Kyle and I shaved each other's heads Thursday night. My hair started coming out in clumps Tuesday and was getting EVERYWHERE, so we kind of needed to do it. Walmart finally brought out winter hats though so I stocked up, because my head feels cold all the time now. But it's nice and round (thanks Mommy!), and I keep thinking of that episode of Roseanne where Jackie's rolling the baby to keep his head from getting a flat spot.

And Now I'm Hungry

   I'm feeling much better. I was a little nauseous and tired yesterday, but we managed to go out shopping for new sheets, even though Kyle wanted to whine the whole time. I ended up buying the mattress on my wishlist Friday night, and it got here Saturday afternoon (thanks Amazon Prime!). We've only slept on it one night so far, but I can finally sleep on my side again without it hurting so I think it was worth it. It's much quieter than our other one too, which is good for when I get up to pee five times in the middle of the night.
   The shots are going okay I guess, except for the nasty bruise Kyle left on my leg. My neck and shoulders still hurt from them. And my chest has been hurting since yesterday morning when I breathe in too deep. I'm going to call tomorrow and let them know (what were they going to tell me to do on the weekend besides go to the ER?). I've been checking my temperature and it's been normal, so that's good. I definitely want to switch to the one-time shot instead of 30 more, especially since I'm not having any bone pain. I'll ask about it during my next round.
   My scars look like they're healing okay, the creepy twine stuff finally came off. I'll admit I've been slack on my arm stretches, but I make sure I stretch it out somewhat every day, and it's definitely improving since the surgery. Kyle pointed out the extra piece of skin in my armpit now though. Eww. But I think the feeling's starting to come back.
   I'm glad the nausea's gone at least (for now), but now I have a different problem: It seems like I'm hungry all the time. Food's getting its normal taste back too. It's good to know the week between chemo might not be so bad after all. But it sucks that I have 3 more rounds of this crap, and then some.

Chemo is Kicking My Ass

    I've spent most of the last two days sleeping... We went back to the hospital yesterday to get the shot situation straightened out. The nurse gave us a huge bag of syringes, an awesome reminder of just how many shots I have to look forward to. The pharmacy called yesterday too and let me know they had another 10 vials ready for me by mistake. We also went wig shopping, which is way harder than deciding on a regular haircut, since this is permanent, and a lot more expensive. I need to make sure I have all the insurance stuff in order first before I spend $450 on some nylon hair. Apparently I still need some "Certification of Medical Necessity" for Tricare to cover it, even though the doctor gave me a prescription for a wig, with the reason for needing one written on it. So I guess I'll ask at my next appointment.
    The anti-nausea medication makes me dizzy and drowsy, but I'm hoping the nausea will start to get better. Everything still tastes like crap. The shots aren't giving me any bone pain, yet, thankfully, but my shoulder and back muscles are really sore. And I've been really shaky, which didn't start until after the first Neupogen shot yesterday.
   
    I can't believe classes start in two weeks...

Day After Chemo: I'm Still Alive!

   Today was aggravating. I've been feeling a little nauseous, my ears were ringing last night (Dr. C said it might be from the steroids , and most of the stuff I eat tastes like crap. I spent most of the morning calling Financial Aid at CofC trying not to yell at dumb people. Someone from Disability Services ended up walking my forms over to their office to make sure they had everything in order. I have to call back Financial Aid tomorrow since no one picked up when I tried to call back later. Dr. C called this morning too, to check up on me. He said if I haven't gotten sick and vomited already that I probably won't at all. Oh good.
    Kyle and I went grocery shopping when he got off work, and that was exhausting. I did order some new glasses online really cheap though. Walmart wanted over $120 just to replace my lenses in old frames, but I used Goggles4u and got two pairs of glasses for $55 total. One pair's even tinted and both pairs have fancy coatings on the lenses. There are a bunch of coupons online too if anyone's looking for new glasses. Hopefully nothing will go wrong with them.
    Kyle was supposed to give me my first Neupogen shot today, which we picked up from the pharmacy earlier. Unfortunately, I didn't think to check them there, so when I pulled them out at 9:00, it turns out we only have vials of medication. The nurse told us we'd be getting prefilled syringes, with safety caps. I called the doctor's office and gave the nurse my number to have the on-call doctor call me back. A few minutes later, I had a voicemail on my phone, but it hadn't rung at all. The doctor said he'd called about 3 or 4 times, and that if was urgent, patients usually pick up their phone. Uhhh.. Thanks T-Mobile for my in-home dead zone. Gotta get that taken care of. I called back the nurse and gave her Kyle's number. The doctor says I should be fine for tonight, but to call first thing in the morning to see about getting some syringes.
   I also just added a wishlist to the blog if anyone noticed. I really want a brand-new memory foam mattress before my next surgery because the one we have now is murderous on my new wounds. Christmas would be good timing, hint hint.

First Chemo Session

   We hit up the oncologist this morning for my first round of chemo. They hooked up my port and Kyle kept calling me a cyborg. The nurse pointed out that this one is a newer model and has the three raised spots so it's easy to find. It's right under the incision, but she was able to go around it. We chatted with Dr. C first. He said the bone scan was fine. I got a prescription for a wig, just to have one if I want it later. Arienne came up to visit last week and we went hat shopping, so I have a nice selection right now.
   They took us to the chemo room and we waited around, reading Calvin & Hobbes comics on the awesome Nook Simple Touch ereader Kyle bought for me (already on Harry Potter book four!). They finally hooked me up to some anti-nausea medications and steroids. Then a flush, and then a second round of anti-nausea medications and another flush. A nurse brought out the A part of the A/C, Adriamycin, in 3 bright red syringes. She sat there and injected them slowly through my port. Another flush, and then she brought out the Cytoxan, which looked like normal saline.  I got up to use the bathroom in the middle of this and my pee had a nice bright pink tinge from the Adriamycin. The Cytoxan took over an hour to administer, but didn't give me a headache, otherwise they'd have to spread it out over a longer period of time. Kyle and I kept busy chatting with the nurses getting my prescriptions organized and with the talkative woman next to us, whose hair was starting to come back in. She's on the same schedule as me so I'll see her again. On the other side, an older woman's IV popped out and she started gushing blood everywhere. Lovely.
   Before that fiasco, the nurse was showing Kyle how to give me the Neupogen shots once a day for the next 10 days. It took many phone calls to make sure the pharmacy had them and all the information since they're a "high dollar drug," and I'm going to pick them up tomorrow. If the bone pain gets too bad, I'll stop them altogether and see how that goes. Otherwise, I'm hoping it'll be okay and I can switch to the single injection that releases the medicine over 10 days instead of running from Kyle trying to stab me every night (Hey, Mommy managed to give them just fine the last time, even after a couple of beers...).
   The nurse finally undid my machinery and trimmed some of the twine-like stitches popping out and irritating me. Dr. C stopped by to check on people, saw the nurse snipping away at my chest, and took off. Apparently blood and needles creep him out, and he's an oncologist...
   They let us leave after that (four hours later). I felt fine, except maybe a little nauseous from watching that poor woman bleed all over the floor, and heavy because they pumped so much crap in me. I came home and had to make some angry phone calls because the receptionist said I was out of visits for referrals, when I've only been 3 times and I had 6 allowed visits. I called the McGuire clinic, who told me the doctor has to call that in to Tricare. So I called the doctor's office who said they don't do that. She ended up putting it in and told me it'd probably be denied. So I called Tricare and told them I didn't really know what the heck I needed. As long as I still have visits (which I know I do), it should be fine, and since the doctor called it in, it should be approved. Tricare said doctors' offices just don't feel like doing it sometimes, but that it shouldn't be denied. It may be a pain in the ass to navigate Tricare, but I will admit once you get past that, they are awesome. I think I've paid $13 total for prescriptions just because I went to CVS instead of on base. So far, they've covered over $80,000 worth of treatment, and that was before chemo started. They did, however, deny the genetics counselor's request to test me for the P53 gene, but she's going to try to get Dr. C to order it instead.
   I called up the school's financial aid department after that to make sure my scholarships are going to go through. Some idiot part-time student-worker basically laughed as he read off all my scholarships that I would lose if I'm not a full-time student, even if I applied for a reduced courseload. He finally transferred me to someone more important, but she wasn't very nice either. She said what he said was true, UNLESS I was approved through Disability Services and she received notification. Well duh, that's what I've been doing... I called back Disability Services and they hadn't sent my paperwork out yet, which explains everything. So I will check again tomorrow to make sure it's all in order. And it better be, because I don't have a spare $4,000 sitting around.
   When I finally finished yelling at people over the phone, Kyle and I took a much needed nap on our comfy couch. I popped ANOTHER anti-nausea medication, Compazine, before our nap because I was definitely feeling bleh, and still am (even after THREE anti-nausea meds?). I did eat, and refilled my water bottle hoping to make the water taste better. Turns out it wasn't the chemo acting up, but just some really nasty hospital water. I'm still kind of nausea and drowsy, and my stomach hurts, but then I realized I recognized a familiar pain: menstrual cramps! Yea, it's about that time... That's all I need right now.

Day After Surgery

   They doped me up on a bunch of pain killers last night but it didn't help me sleep at all. When I finally fell asleep around 6, the nurses came in to wake up the old lady next to me, who was wearing a hearing aid. Dr. K's assistant, Donna, came in pretty early to check on me and get my discharge paperwork ready. She told me they did the axillary lymph node dissection because when they checked the sentinel node, they couldn't get clear results whether it was cancerous or not. I asked if that was normal, but she said that it rarely happens (go figure). She said it was just kind of a grey area of what to do and they discussed it with the oncologist during surgery, so they just decided to take everything out that was there. I'm getting the drain out next Thursday and a nurse is coming out to my house tomorrow to check on me again.
   I got home around 1 after fighting with a missing date on my controlled substance prescription (thanks Doc...), but we went to the grocery store and I was feeling fine. I'm supposed to be taking Vicodin every 3 hours. It's making me incredibly nauseous, but it stops the sudden sharp/burning/stabbing pains in the back of my arm. I spent most of the day knocked out on our fancy new reclining couch (very good idea Kyle), while Mommy yelled at the little brats screaming their heads off in our front yard. Maybe I'll go throw up on them next time... But for now, I think the milk of magnesia is finally kicking in! Yes!